Inner Critic – Page 2 – Julie Baldwin

With the light fading away earlier in the evenings, leaves beginning to change color, and the cooler nights, summer is ending and autumn is just beginning.

Before summer ends, it’s easy to feel a sense of urgency to complete the things you wanted to do, but didn’t.

In fact, that’s exactly how I felt earlier today. My inner critics were starting to stir things up and I was well on my way to letting them make me miserable.

But then I looked at this photograph. Its stillness, its peaceful beauty, had a message for me.

Reflection of trees on lake

This is the time to reflect. To slow down and appreciate all I’ve accomplished.

Looking back over a busy summer, my memories waver in and out of focus, like images reflecting off a lake:

Writing weekly blog posts, even when I didn’t think I had anything to say.
Playing with my sweet, ornery dog.
Coaching some gifted, creative people.
Creating a travel watercolor set for myself.
Sorting through my house, and giving away, throwing out, or selling quite a bit of stuff.
Starting a regular yoga practice.
Completing a rigorous business course.
Having breakfasts with my amazing husband on our back porch.
Facilitating an inspiring 30-day creativity challenge.
Meeting with wonderful friends.
Hosting a transformative vision board workshop.
Making trips out-of-state to see my dear family.
Organizing my office and creative space.
Painting a dozen watercolors.

It’s a lot, actually!

Focusing on what you’ve accomplished silences your inner critics by putting things into perspective.

I still have my to-do list, but I’ve decided to try something different. Like most creative people, doing things the linear, “type A” way drains my energy and blocks my intuitive wisdom. When I operate too much out of my left brain, my stomach tightens, my back and neck stiffen, and—worst of all—it’s harder to see the magic in this world.

Sometimes I have to make things into a game to stay interested and motivated. So I took my to-do list and tore it into strips of paper, with one item written on each piece.

Goals written on strips of paper

Then, I put the papers in a pretty red crocheted bowl, and stirred them with my fingers.

That felt good!

Now, instead of running around in my head, taunting me, my to-do items are written on paper.

They’re “under control” in one spot, but not in a list.

What I didn’t accomplish (yet) is fresh in my mind. Now it’s time to take a deep breath, wait, and see what rises into my awareness. That’s what I’ll do next.

By taking the “should” out of my linear list, and making it more of a game, tomorrow doesn’t feel like an endless list of tasks, it feels like a morning of discovery. What will I do? I’m excited to find out!

Being in a balanced perspective helps you think of new ways to solve a problem, or re-energize routines.

If you’re feeling stressed by all you have to do, take the time to appreciate what you’ve already accomplished, instead of rushing ahead to the next task. Then try making a game out of what you need to do, or changing your usual routine, to freshen up the experience.

Remember, you are in control of your own experience. Make it meaningful to you!

You have dreams and goals. You want to open a little gift shop near the beach. Or you want to travel around the world. Or write a novel, or retire early, or lose weight. So how do you get from here to there? It may seem obvious, but you need to start with being clear about where you are now.

Signpost pointing in multiple directions

After all, how do you know how to get to Timbuktu, or even to the new restaurant downtown, if you haven’t first oriented yourself?

It’s the same for other goals, too. But if it’s that simple, why can it be so difficult? Why do we put it off, or make half-hearted attempts at change only to fall back into a stuck place? Why don’t we want to take stock of where we are to help ourselves move forward effectively?

There are many reasons we come up with, and some of them are valid. But the anxiety underneath is often the fear of facing real grief over our lost opportunities and personal failures.

It’s as if we have an inner ogre that tallies up every single mistake we’ve ever made, and taunts us as we move toward our authentic lives.

Scary stone gargoyle looking way too pleased with himself

If you get on the scale to gauge how much weight you want to lose, the inner ogre taunts you about being heavier than you were the last time you dieted. So you avoid it.

When you start to write a novel, your inner critic bombards you with “what’s wrong” with your writing. (And, “who cares what you have to say, anyway?”) So you end up revising the first chapter until it looks nothing like what you originally intended, and you lose the mojo you had for writing it in the first place. Another “failed” novel goes in the file drawer.

Anyone who’s struggled to fulfill a creative dream—and all dreams are in some way creative—or set personal goals that are never quite met, knows what it’s like to hear those voices.

But here’s the thing: your fear and grief are not going away, even if you avoid them. And staying stuck will only add to the psychic weight of regret.

The mistakes you’ve made, the failures you’ve experienced, and the losses that grip your heart whenever you think of them, have a real impact on your life and others, to be sure. But they’re not who you are.

You are a creative spirit who can interact with your environment, make grounded choices, and live your life in alignment with your deepest values.

You can navigate your life from the core of who you are—where your wisdom resides. And it’s always there. You just have to remember to listen to it, despite the voice of the ogre.

Hands holding a heart

Wherever you are in your journey, remember to be compassionate with yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a dear friend.

When you take stock of where you are now compared to an (as yet) unfulfilled dream or goal, what do you realize about the path you need to take to reach it?

Category Archives: Inner Critic

How to Slow Down and Move Forward

Where Are You Now?