What Matters to You?

Little girl offering red fuzzy heart

Last weekend, I attended Rick Tamlyn’s “Play Your Bigger Game” retreat.

“Bigger” is all about finding and doing your good work in the world.

“Game” refers to the tool.

You’re always on the “playing board,” and you can choose which step to take next—without beating yourself up about where you happen to be at the moment. Once you learn it, you never have to be “stuck” again.

I can’t wait to use this tool with my clients!

My husband came to the retreat with me. This morning, as we were discussing the retreat—and the grounded soul of someone he feels called to work with—things about my own work clicked into place for me.

Compassion is a way of deeply seeing

I’ve always tried to reflect back their beauty and worth to others, and encourage them to live the lives that are most meaningful to them.

I try to look at others through the lens of what I imagine God looks through. When I choose that perspective—often unconsciously—I see  the person I’m engaging with. Judgment may not completely fall away, but compassion reveals their inner light.

Each of us is unique. Yet each of us has more in common with everyone else than we realize. That’s why sharing our gifts is so powerful. It’s both distinctive—adding perspective—and connecting—creating a bridge between your perspective and mine.

We all want and need connection

Elephants with trunks intertwined

Creativity is an important way to connect with others. It opens a window between the worlds of the creator and the appreciator.

When I look at the sunflowers carved into my favorite mug, I see the movement of the potter’s hands baked into clay. There’s a little bit of soul in that mug.

When I read an essay by a writer who struggled through her own doubts and trials, who distilled her wisdom into clear, strong words, I see new possibilities.

In both experiences—looking at my mug and reading an essay—I am enriched.

Listen! I can’t say this enough.

You have a purpose and meaning in this world. Share it. Connect. Be real. We need you!

There are many ways to love the world. What is yours?


Check out the Bigger Game
and Rick’s book, Play Your Bigger Game.

Mind Fish

Hummingbird in silhouette

This morning, I happened to look out my window and see the fleeting silhouette of a hummingbird. It was gone in a split second, and for a moment, I wondered if I’d even seen it.

But I can recall the outline of that small, butterfly-like bird like a snapshot in my mind. Yes, I saw it.

Sometimes, my thoughts are like that hummingbird—or movement in my peripheral vision. Like dreams from the night before fading from my consciousness, I have to write them down when they come to me, or lose them.

Yellow fish

I’ve had the experience, over the years, of having insights that seem so profound at the moment, I believed I’d always remember them. But then, they would fade away. It feels like these thoughts, images, and ideas are like brightly colored fish in the ocean of my unconscious. A current will bring one of them up near the surface, where I see it hanging suspended in the dark water. Then, in a little flash of color, it dives so deep again that I can’t recall it.

Then, years later, it resurfaces, and I recognize it. I know the insight is not new, that I’d lost it, and if I want to remember it, I must write it down immediately.

I used to try to capture all of my insights and ideas by carrying a notebook and writing them down whenever I had them. I did nothing with many of them, because there’s an energy that happens when they’re fresh that I need to ride like a wave to be able to stay in it, and write from the point of the thought to its conclusion.

Like this morning. I had no idea what I would write in my blog. I saw the hummingbird, made the association with fleeting thoughts and insights, and knew I better catch the wave while there was still energy behind it, and see where it took me.

Woman surfing in ocean

I can’t catch them all. But I can pay attention, and choose when to follow a wave of thought made by a bright, little fish—or a hummingbird—and see where it takes me.

Calling the Muse

Behind all the noise, the world holds its breath, waiting. The space within quietness wants to hold the sound of your voice, the vision of your painting, the words of your story, the song of your spirit.

Silence doesn’t want to be filled, it wants to listen.

Too much noise—sound, thoughts, busy-ness—crowds out insight, and leaves little room for creativity. It becomes hard to take a deep breath, even.

Yet silence can be intimidating, like the stare of a blank page when no ideas come. But if you wait, and still yourself in the center of your own anxiety, what do you experience?

Wind chime bells hanging on rope

The faint sound of wind chimes moving in a breeze. A sigh. The color of a thought. The texture of a feeling. The gesture of what you long to express, and longs to be expressed by you.

Behind the silence, there is a consciousness that holds us suspended in eternity. It is germinating, appreciating—needing—what you are here to do in your precious life, now.

A sun shines. A moon reflects. A flower blooms. What do you do?

When you feel frazzled, burnt-out, or overwhelmed, stop. Take 20 minutes for yourself, alone, away from the inner and outer noise, and just listen. What do you hear?

What is waiting to be brought into the world, by you?

How will you be different after you express it?

And what else is possible?

Translating Elephants into Art

Sensitivity is a gift. Highly sensitive people possess the fine tuning to be keenly aware of subtleties in their physical and emotional environments. We’re extra sensitive to smells, sounds, even light. It’s important to us that our environments are not just functional, but beautiful.

Wallpaper print with multi-colored elephants

We intuit connections between things, and feel others’ emotions so keenly, that we are often quite conscious of what’s going on underneath the surface.

But when we see the elephant in the room and point it out, we learn quickly that it makes some people uncomfortable. So it can be pretty frustrating when others want to talk about things like road construction, while one person in the room is secretly angry with another, someone else is feeling hurt, and we see deeper connections in the interaction everyone is having.

What do you do with that kind of complex perception?

Maybe, after a while, you clam up. You stop bothering. You sit there, bored out of your mind, or filled with anxiety from the emotions you’re picking up, knowing that if you try to address what you see, the other people in the room would either look at you like you were crazy, or get angry that you described the elephant at all.

But all that does is drain your energy and hide your wisdom.

Being highly sensitive is really like speaking a different language. And part of the beauty of high sensitivity is that it can be translated through artistic expression: writing, photography, composing, painting, acting—any kind of self-expression that translates your complex experience into something others can experience in their own way.

Let the wisdom of your sensitivity infuse your life—and art.

Woman standing holding flowers

Your sensitivity may help you beautify the environment for yourself and others. It may compel you to write about highly-charged topics in your mission to tell the truth, however uncomfortable. Your sensitivity may flow from your fingertips to into a painting that moves someone to tears.

In whatever way you are meant to, express your vision for the rest of us.

We not only want it, we need what you have to share with us.