{"id":578,"date":"2017-01-13T00:27:56","date_gmt":"2017-01-13T00:27:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/?p=578"},"modified":"2017-01-15T22:34:07","modified_gmt":"2017-01-15T22:34:07","slug":"being-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/?p=578","title":{"rendered":"Being Real"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been struggling the last couple weeks, trying to get back into the swing of things after the holidays. Grief has pulled me by the ankles into the Underworld. Regret circles like a dark fin in the water of my subconscious.<\/p>\n

\"Moon<\/p>\n

I know, to some degree, what is going on. I\u2019m grieving the loss of my mother. I\u2019m feeling regret about some decisions that changed the trajectory of my life. And I can feel an insight being born.<\/p>\n

Whether I simply bring this insight into my life, or make art from it, the process that I\u2019m going through is the mystery at the core of being human.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to write, when I\u2019m in this place.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve started three different blog posts, only to set them aside. I can\u2019t make sense of anything. Whatever insight wants to come into the light is still forming on the edge of my periphery.<\/p>\n

I often struggle with this part of the creative process, and try to control it. I don\u2019t want to feel the grief and regret, but there\u2019s nothing I can do to think or analyze my way out of it. There\u2019s no shortcut; I have to surrender, feel what I feel, and be honest about it.<\/p>\n

I just have to be real. I also have to be patient, and let go of my desire to control the result, to wrap it up with a nice, neat bow.<\/p>\n

Because I know\u2014from going through this process countless times in my life\u2014that when it looks like all is lost, if I stay present, I will be able to bring a piece of treasure back from my journey to the Underworld.<\/p>\n

An insight, in a piece of writing.<\/p>\n

A wordless response, in color and form.<\/p>\n

A reconnection with my own ballast, centering me in an uncertain world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been struggling the last couple weeks, trying to get back into the swing of things after the holidays. Grief has pulled me by the ankles into the Underworld. Regret circles like a dark fin in the water of my subconscious. I know, to some degree, what is going on. I\u2019m grieving the loss of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grief","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=578"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":584,"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578\/revisions\/584"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.juliebaldwin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}